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Patrick Atwater's avatar

Wow. This hit me hard. I have often chosen the reactive path vs the proactive path, for several of the reasons you outlined above. Considering the fact that reality is not changeable is revealing when I consider the ways I put blinders on and act as if I am the maser of my own universe. Reality doesn't play that game, and there is direct loss when I choose that path, even if I try to minimize the impact of that loss through delusion. But wait! Remember the solution set and not the problem set! The solution is simple and involves choosing to align with reality over a consistent stretch of time. One thing that you mention is to make these choices "within even with tragedy, difficulty, and the types of hardship that is common to life on this fascinating planet." This is so crucial. I would imagine the consistency over time helps one along when the calamity ensues.

Also that example to work through one's understanding of something is pure gold. I will be implementing that, and also asking the "why" regarding each part of it. Thank you so much! These writings are such a gift.

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Perry Lines's avatar

I'm seeing how things like arrogance, familiarity heuristic, and confirmation bias are overlapped in that reactive cycle you talked about and how and why it manifests. I can see how I often gravitate toward victimhood and how I operate in the reactive cycle so regularly, creating my own demise by drawing upon past data to inform my choices and conclusions. I am curious about how codependency operates as a driver not to reach your potential with your goals, and how this would manifest. Hypothetically, in the bulleted list you gave, this would look like someone denying what they really wanted to do in favor of gaining approval or gratification from someone else. That would be protecting the biggest inhibitor, which is yourself as you mentioned. To seek out new information, or allow the influence of that data, that would require independence and the choice to regard new information more highly than gratification. Another question I thought of was, why memorize everything? Just to have the knowledge in my brain? That depends on what is meant by "results". I realized I had a narrow view of this whereas what you're speaking to is, in part, that by ingraining new information, committing it to memory and dissecting it, this will inform a new foundation of reason. Part of why I get so stuck in my own destructive cycles of poor thinking is due to not having this kind of information available to me prior, meaning the information that was ingrained wasn't based on truth, so the only option is perpetual delusion unless new information is deeply ingrained such that I can override the old.

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